Letters, Mary thought, were a convenient way to confuse oneself. They could be combined in millions of ways, producing words, phrases and paragraphs that could please or annoy most anyone. Sometimes they let people learn something new, but recent history showed they were becoming used more often to annoy someone.
Would her arrangement of letters annoy or please when Raymond received this missive? Mary thought he would be annoyed, but she had to say what was in her heart, and finish this relationship for once and for all.
Placing her fingers on the keyboard, Mary began typing . . .
Dear Raymond,
I love you. I hope you will believe that.
I want you in my life, but it seems our lives are too different for that to ever be possible. You are wealthy and accustomed to people being at your beck and call twenty-four hours a day. You socialize frequently. Your corporation is growing rapidly and I’m sure that keeps you busy. Yes, I did some on-line research.
I saw the photos in People Magazine of the red-carpet event you attended last week. You look happy in the photos, standing next to a beautiful model who was your date for the evening. Raymond, that really focused my attention on the vast differences in our lives. My life is nothing like that.
Since we have started our electronic relationship, I have come to love you and look forward to the times you have a few minutes to chat with me. You can easily make me laugh, and that is always a high point in my day, any day.
However, I feel that you are wishing to evade me for some reason. I have no idea why. This past weekend, without any communication with you, I spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship, if it can be called that.
I have reached a decision. If you have no time to meet me face-to-face, and if making time for that is a major interruption of your life, I feel both of us would be better off if we ended this.
While I love you and would like to have you in my life, I can’t say that I need you in my life. I was okay before you reached out to me; why you did that I still don’t understand. I will miss talking to you, and will think about you often, but if you are unable to meet with me, to see if we are compatible in person, I feel you are not as involved in this relationship as you claim to be.
You know how to get in touch with me, where to find me. Please do not contact me again unless you freely come to me with a loving heart and open arms.
Mary printed the letter and read it carefully. And wondered if Raymond would read her words, her combination of letters, and understand what she was saying. She wasn’t sure he would see the letter, even if she wrote “Personal and Confidential” on the envelope before mailing it. His corporation was huge, and she assumed there were at least five layers of assistants between the mailroom and Raymond’s office.
She read the letter again. Should she add “With all my love” at the bottom? Should she take the risk of someone else reading it? She hadn’t put anything inflammatory in the letter, at least not that she could see.
Mary wadded up the letter and tossed it into the waste basket under the desk. She placed her fingers on the keyboard once more and added “With all my love” at the bottom of the letter, then printed a new copy.
She told the computer to save the letter but couldn’t think of a file name so cancelled the function. Did she want to keep it on file once she was satisfied with her words? No, she would let it disappear into the ether.
Mary read the letter again, didn’t see anything that she wanted to change, and closed the document without saving it.
She carefully signed the letter in blue ink. She would mail it tomorrow.
