Worth the Effort

    “Had some of that once. Wasn’t worth the effort.”
    I managed not to snicker too loudly at Duncan’s comment about the mayor, who had stopped by our table with her fake politician’s smile and pleasantly bland expression. (Politicians must take classes on that.) I had known and loved Duncan since first grade, and was used to his blunt comments, but that one I sure did not expect.
    “Really?” I managed to ask without giggling.
    “Yeah. She hinted around a few times about another date, but I never asked her out again.”
    I grinned at Duncan. He grinned back and asked, “Want some dessert?”
    “Sure,” I replied and picked up the dessert menu.

    Duncan and I were on one of our occasional “dates” – if you could call them that. We’ll eat out together, sometimes go to a movie, and on days nothing strikes our fancy we ride around the countryside for a couple of hours. He is always a perfect gentleman, opens the truck door for me, walks me to my door, kisses me on the cheek as he says good-night.
    I’m not sure if he knows I love him. I’m not sure how he feels about me past our being best friends.
    Duncan dates other women frequently. I’ve seen him out with them; he acknowledges my presence when he sees me, often introducing me to his date and telling them I am his best friend.
    But does he care for me more than that?

    I selected crème brûlée, hoping the restaurant had a chef who made it on-site. Duncan chose the lava brownie. (Gotta love a man who loves chocolate!)
    We talked about the weather while awaiting our desserts; a fine snow had been falling when we arrived at the restaurant. Unless the weather turned nasty, a light dusting would probably be tonight’s accumulation.
    Our desserts arrived. The crème brûlée, while not the best I’ve ever had, was good. Duncan said his lava brownie was perfect. 
    We finished our desserts, Duncan paid our tab, and we walked out of the restaurant to find that the snow had stopped and the clouds were breaking up. 

    When Duncan stopped his truck in front of my garage, he asked, “Do you want me to drive you to work tomorrow?”
    “No. I don’t see any need for you to do that extra driving, especially since the snow stopped.”
    The reflection of the headlights off the garage door allowed me to see Duncan nod. I had no idea why he had asked about driving me to work. I always drove myself, no matter the weather.
    Duncan started to get out of the truck to walk me to the door. I laid my hand on his arm and told him, “You don’t have to get out.”
    Duncan looked down at my hand. We rarely touched one another.  
    “Allie . . .” Duncan started, then stopped. He rubbed the back of my hand and looked through the windshield.
    Unsure of his mood, I kept quiet.
    He turned back toward me and asked, “Allie, do you mind if I come in tonight?”
    I didn’t know how to answer. I wanted Duncan, but I didn’t want to rush things as he had frequently said he didn’t like pushy women. I wasn’t sure he would like my question, but I asked anyway.
    “What are you asking, Duncan?”
    “Allie . . .” Again he stopped, this time looking me in the eye. “Allie, I’ve dated a lot more than you ever do. I’ve been looking for something and didn’t know what. You always listen to anything I tell you, without judging or ridicule. You’ve been the one person I could rely on being there for me no matter what.”
    Duncan paused, turned my hand over and laced his fingers through mine. 
    “I did a lot of thinking last weekend after my date with Roxie Jones. I think me saying you are always there for me pissed her off, and, you know Roxie, she never was one to keep quiet about something. She told me that she knew why I never got serious with any woman, just used them and moved on, that you were the only one for me and that I was too dumb to realize it.
    “I sat home Saturday and Sunday, drinking and thinking about that. And finally came to my senses. Allie, you are the one I always turn to for comfort, for understanding, for a relaxing day. I think I’ve always known you love me, but were afraid you’d drive me away if you said anything. I’ve taken advantage of that and shouldn’t’ve.”
    Duncan took a deep breath, squeezed my hand, then continued.
    “Allie, I’ve taken you for granted. Never meant to but I have. I’m sorry about that and if you’ll let me into your life, I will do my best to never take you for granted again. Will you let me in?”
    I squeezed Duncan’s hand. This man I love with all my heart was trying to say he loved me, but couldn’t quite get there. I understood his unspoken questions, his fears, for I had them also. Could we be together, as Duncan and Allie, and still be at ease with one another, share a life together, really together, without becoming disillusioned? I did not know the answers. All I knew for certain was that I love Duncan and want him in my life.
    “Duncan . . .” I was the hesitant one now. How could I tell him I loved him unconditionally, always would? “Duncan, I’ve loved you for years and have tried to give you the room you seemed to want. I will let you into my life but can we take it slow?”
    “Allie, I will do anything you want to have you by my side for the rest of my life. May I come in tonight?”
    He leaned over and gently kissed my lips. 
    I returned his kiss, knowing Duncan was worth any effort.